Over and Gone

It's official.

My vacation is over.

I'm pretty sure those were the fastest 10 days of my entire life. I think they passed even faster because I was so worried about wasting one second of those 10 precious days.

Nothing makes a vacation feel more over than a 13 hours trauma surgery shift. That starts at 5:30 am.

The Thanksgiving leftovers are gone.

The Halloween candy is (finally) gone.

And it's supposed to start snowing any day, so I guess autumn in gone now too.

But it was not without wonderful moments.

Sleeping in until the sun poured through my bedroom window.

Having the time to cook breakfast for my family.

Finishing the Christmas shopping.

Discovering a new park.


Working on our next home project (here's a clue...)

Final project will be revealed, well, when it's done.

I love being home so much it makes me wonder how I can ever go back to work. The very idea of being away from my boys nearly makes me sick. But I wake up, at 4:40 am, and go to work. For them.

Not Me! Monday

I do NOT have moments where I freak out and forget all my medical training when something happens to the boys.

Roman DID NOT swallow a penny and my first thought was NOT to take him straight to the ER for an x-ray. I would realize they would have me watch him, see if it passes, and bring him in at the first sign of abdominal pain.

Blaise DID NOT develop a new rash on his cheeks. My first thought was NOT some horrific illness or rare manistation of swine flu. I DID NOT think about calling his pediatrician. It is a rash, and I've seen hundreds. Once I calmed down, I DID NOT realize it DID NOT look perfectly benign and is most likely a mild flare of his eczema due to the drier conditions in our home now that the furnace is on.

I would never panic and have my first thought be to call a REAL doctor. I DO NOT keep forgetting that I am a real doctor. Nope. I would never do that.

My cardiology rotation is completely NOT terrifying me. I have NOT ONCE badgered Keith to get his 34 year old self into his doctor to get started on a statin for cholesterol. He DOES NOT have a family history of heart disease that scare me to death. I DO NOT think about him everytime I admit another 40-something year old male with a heart attack. I NEVER image myself a widow at an early age. I will NOT keep pestering him until he goes in and does it. And I do NOT bring up the whole daily aspirin thing on a daily basis. I would always wait and let his doctor do proper blood testing and make a decision based on rational and not the terror of ending up alone prematurely. And I don't badger my husband. Nope. Never.

I have NOT been so tired that I have just dumped the last several loads of laundry onto my bedroom floor. My family is NOT looking for their daily clothes in huge piles of laundry. Nope, not me. I always put the laundry away immediately, no matter how bad the call night has been. Just the same way I do the dishes and NEVER set the table using all of Blaise's IKEA plastic utensils because there was not any clean silverware. I would NEVER get let the dishes go that long.

Or would I?

Our house is NOT completely over run with lady bugs. Or Japanese beetles. Or what every you call them. I DID NOT get home from work two hours late to find our living room floor covered in dead ladybugs. Keith would NEVER go on a bug killing spree. And we obviously would have contacted a exterminator a long time before it got this bad. We're on top of things like that.

And after a long weekend of call in the cardiac ICU, I did NOT forget that today was Monday until I read Gina's blog. I did NOT let Roman stay up almost an hour past his bedtime because I DID NOT think that since I have a day off tomorrow, that it was the weekend. I always know what day of the week it is. Don't you?

Join MckMama and the rest of us who HAVE NOT done anything this week.

Not me! Monday: Sugar High

At the fair this weekend, we did NOT eat candy bars dipped in funnel cake batter and then deep fried. And then after that, we absolutely did NOT eat powder sugar covered funnel cakes. And there was NO WAY we also ate cotton candy. I am fanatic about my kids eating healthy and would NEVER fill them up with sugar and let them loose on a barn full of animals. Nope, not me.

While I was showering last week, I was NOT shaving my legs with my feet propped up awkwardly against the shower wall. No, I would have definitely have found a better way to shave my legs. And while I was shaving, my foot DID NOT go through the wall. Tiles did NOT fall down and sheet rock did NOT start crumbling. And I know for sure that I DID NOT calmly finish showering and getting dressed before telling Keith. I love our house and would never try to downplay such an event. And I DID NOT feel terrible that I have created another project.

I did NOT invite three families over this weekend for Blaise's upcoming birthday party. Our house is SO CLOSE to being done and three year old's need big parties. Or NOT.

I absolutely did NOT postpone doing my anesthesia textbook reading because I was trying to finish reading the entire Harry Potter series (again.) No, I would NEVER do that. I always have my priorities straight.

Feeling guilty for something you totally DID NOT do this week? Hop on over to visit MckMama, and see what else everyone has NOT been doing.

Day One

I successfully made it through my first day as an intern.

I got to introduce myself as "Doctor" for the first time today.

I wrote orders and they happened. I asked nurses for things, and they got them. I felt, not just like a doctor, but like a grown-up.

And I got paid today. My first real paycheck in, um, a very long time.

I actually had a good day.

Which is very strange for me to say. I almost feel embarrassed to say it. I've spent to much time (and strangely, effort) into being upset about the demands of a medical life, and nervous about residency, that having fun was the last thing I expected.

I actually kind of like being a doctor.

Well, at least today I did.

When I wasn't thinking about how much I missed Roman and Blaise, and wondering how Keith was doing in his new role of stay at home dad. And wishing that I was much more caffeinated.

It was a successful day one. Now I just need to figure if it is all uphill or downhill from this point.

Because dishes DO NOT do themselves

So after a very long time, I've decided to participate in the blog festival that is "Not Me! Mondays" created by MckMama. I've read these posts on many of my favorite blogs, but have never had a reason to participate...


Until now! I can't think of a better way to sum up this week then "NOT ME!"

Things are crazy when you're moving. Everyone knows that. Add a apparently not-so-minor home renovation on top of that, and, well, we've just approached a whole new level of craziness.

But even with that, every girl has her limits.

I DID NOT leave the dishes undone and piling up in the sink. Keith DID NOT feel obliged to mention the insane amount of dishes. Because I am always on top of housework. And Keith doesn't mind a little craziness.

And then, while I was NOT adding a seventh layer of paint to the trim, the dishes DID NOT do themselves. Or did they...?


I DO NOT hate trim. Because painting seven layers of glossy white paint on trim is fun.

I DID NOT cry when we pulled back the carpet in the family room.


Because we DID NOT find mold. We DID NOT find water. Our family room does NOT leak every time it rains. Who would buy a house like that? Not me.

I DID NOT get a massive sunburn on my back and arms and shoulders when we were at the lake. Because everyone knows that I'm obsessive about sunscreen. I still DO NOT think it was a glorious day.

I DID NOT panic when I came home from my lab coat fitting and found this in our master bedroom.


Because I am always very calm. I was perfectly aware that fixing the floor joist was going to be a big project. So I absolutely DID NOT freak out at the size of the hole.

I AM NOT having moments of complete panic about being a resident and all the responsibility that goes along with it. I AM NOT having moments of terror when I think about being in the ER next week. Because I am a calm individual and and completely prepared for residency.

I AM NOT blogging instead of making dinner. I would never do that.

What have you not done this week? Head over to MckMama to see what everyone else hasn't done?

Between Here and There

I keep wondering why I'm feeling stressed.

I'm not in school. I'm not working. I technically have plenty of time to sleep and relax and get caught up on all my project.

But I'm stressed!!

I could figure it out until last night, amid a minor tearful episode, Keith pointed out that we had only matched 6 days ago.

That right. Only 6 days ago!

Since then, I've finished my research, taken the boys out of daycare, found a real estate agent, gotten us pre-approved for a mortgage, created a list a houses to look at, booked a trip to Iowa to buy one of said houses, gotten a TB test, and nearly completed my physician licensing paperwork.

It's been a busy 6 days.

I can't believe we are going to buy a house! Our first home.

Keith and I have been renting for nearly 8 years. I rented for a year before that. Keith rented for 6+ years before that. So I have been living in apartments for 9 years. Keith for well, nearly 15 years.

And everywhere we have lived as felt temporary. That's what apartments can do to you.

But we have been pre-approved for our first mortgage and head out of Iowa next week to start the house hunt!!

MATCH DAY!!!

I feel like I want to keep my match a secret. Not because it went badly, or we are disappointed. But because I would rather be able to tell all of you in person, and watch your face change when you hear the news. I like giving news in person.

Yep, Match Day is that exciting

But Match Day is over.

My hands were shaking pretty hard when I was opening my envelope. Imagine, holding an envelope that contains information about your future. That doesn't happen very often.

Opening our envelope

It's good news!!

One happy family
(well, minus a Roman who is hiding under the table)

I guess there's no way to keep this news for getting out.

Can you guess where we are going?

Placing my pin in the school map

Roman pointing to our new home

Yep, that's right. Iowa. My first choice. Wow. It feels really good to say that I got my first choice. Like all the block exams and board study and suffering through terrible surgery rotations paid off. I got as much say where I go as any one could have.

So we are headed to the Midwest. Wow, that's strange. I've been saying for over four years that if we were going to leave Utah, it was going to be for somewhere warm. Where it didn't snow for 6-9 months out of the year. And I tried. But the "warm programs" just didn't fit our family as well. Iowa. Well, it felt right. The program is phenomenal. The housing market is very affordable. The schools are fantastic. There is a great dental school for Keith. And it is safe. I know that I will have to live through infamous Midwestern winters, but it seems like a small price to pay for all the benefits.

And like one resident I talked to in Iowa said, "It pretty much never gets any colder than, say, negative 30." Yeah, he said it like it was a good thing.

It was great to have my boys with me. Because, this isn't just me.

Happy Match Day
(And now you can see where Roman was
during the picture taking.
We at least got him IN this one)

This is for all of us.

Almost time

The countdown on the side bar of my blog is making me sick.

Suddenly there isn't enough time to get ready for this.

Here's to hoping for the best at 10 am tomorrow.

Just a little info

Well, I matched!!

Now I just have to wait until Thursday.

Then we find out where we are going.

I think I'm more nervous now.